Making Choices

We all have choices to make.  

Some choices are easy.

Some choices are hard.

Whether a choice is easy or hard, we have to make them.  Many times we don’t even realize we are making the easy ones, they are that easy.

It’s the hard ones, the ones that stop you in your tracks that really burn a hole in your heart.  The ones that you could spend hours debating about either way.
    - Do I start chemotherapy or do I try an all natural, chemical free diet and risk the unknown.
    - Do I quit my job and pursue my true passion.
    - Do I pick up and move to something unknown and potentially great from this place where all      
      my friends are and all I’ve ever known.
    -Do I end this relationship or not

Some hard choices have a clear answer- a path you know you should follow, but for some reason, you can’t bring your self to make the choice.

When I was choosing which college to go to, I wanted to go to Rensselaer.  I got accepted and I got 2/3 scholarship.  I had received a full four year scholarship to UMass Amherst.  I wasn’t sure I’d get a better education there, but I knew it would help myself and my parents to not have to pay tuition.  I made the decision to go, but the weight of the decision did not leave my shoulders.  I knew I had made the wrong choice, but did not change my mind.  One day, in Biology class, I was thinking about Rensselaer.  I asked for a bathroom pass and ran to the payphone to call my dad to write a deposit check to Rensselaer, the burden had been lifted from my shoulders, I was elated to finally be going to the school I knew all along academically I wanted to attend.

Sometimes we know what choice we want to make but we don’t make it.  There are things that affect us, like other peoples feelings, fear, uncertainty, money, friends, etc.

Sometimes we put ourselves and our feelings last. Sometimes you may find yourself in a situation and decide to stay in it, because you want to ride out the storm, you want to be the bigger person, you want to help everyone else, and you put yourself last.  

How often do you put yourself last?

As a parent, as a spouse, as a sibling, or child, you may find occasionally having to put yourself last is the only choice, and that’s ok.  

But, when you are in a situation where you are constantly compromising yourself and your integrity, that is not ok.  You should drop everything and run.

At no point in time should anyone or anything make you feel less than who you are.  If you find yourself in a situation where you begin to doubt yourself and your choices or you have to say “don’t you know me”- consider the choice no longer hard- get out!

I quit my job this week.  The choice was hard, but really I had put myself last for so long, that when I finally put myself and my feelings first, the choice became easy.  

This will not work everytime, but let me tell you, deep down inside, sometimes we know what we have to do to answer the hard choices.  We know what’s best for us and we know situations we should not be in.

Never ever ever ever (times infinity) let anyone make you feel less than you are.  It is not our job or place to tell someone who they are or make them feel small- it is our job to lift them up, to make them better, to help them evolve.  If we constantly go around making people feel small to make ourselves feel better, we are doing a huge disservice to our community.  A community works because of all the people involved working together to make things better, not make themselves better only.

You are amazing and when someone makes you feel small or makes you question your integrity, you walk away- you find a new friend, someone who will lift you up when you are down or help you make a better choice when you are wrong, not rip you apart.

Some choices can be easy when you look at them the right way- 

One thing is for sure, I’m choosing my happiness and my family’s over all else and I’ll be back on this blog more often now.